It sucks so much that I can't chat with y'all in Y!M on a Friday night like this. eh.

Did you? Huh?

I am afraid that I am losing the urge to continue writing my latest fanfic. I am trying, but, with by holding down ctrl and pressing the T key on my keyboard, I could type away wherever I could think of at the moment. And so I began to procrastinate.

I have somehow decided that procrastinators are those awesome people. eh.

James is changingggg :>

"Oh, ano, baka may suggestions kayo?" he said while we were practicing for our MAPEH practical test. Can't believe it, dude. I was honestly trying to piss him off but he remained patient towards us. *swoon~* And I was thinking, maybe it is just okay if the Photos section of our bulletin board is filled with his face. Because it is beautiful.

Oh and when we was looking straight at me, I felt like I was going to fall over 8D

BUT. What could be shmexier than this?

Nothing more.

For now, maybe we could sing.



Why do I have to be so crappy today? I forgot my shoe cover and was kicked outta PC class, forgot the Manila Paper we drew on for our Science Activity. Left my water bottle and I needed it && been terribly clumsy.

Some were made solutions - I went to the library & read a funny comic book to lighten myself up, we drew again.

Why do I have to be such a kill joy to my classmates? Simple, I dun like them. I dun like James, I dun like Matt. I dun like James' friends - who are Matt`s friends now as well.

But I am drowning in guilt for what I did earlier.

Damn, I know. Had James let me interfere with that English presentation, I could have been at least a little kind.

I shall set myself straight. Clarify why I hate them, should I hate them, had I forgiven James, or should I forgive.

Matt He`s changed. I dun wanna say so 'cause I dun wanna shot back with 'Ha?! Hindi naman ah!' . Or maybe his being proud just triggered now. Man, I should not have given him those compliments -___-. You know that true colours being shown as time passes? I never saw that in him last year. Nao did not see him like that. Nor did Rofyy. No one did. Just me. Poor me.
He is now friends with the people I like the least. And you know what, they really enjoy his company. I know, he`s really nice to be with. That's because he has no much pride and he knows how to 'get along'. He migles with everyone, anyone.
We used to be friends. But we ain't friends anymore. Like there never was a Yael before. There`s no more me in his happy, happy life. You're still happy, Matt. Congratulations.
But, really, it`s sad. Have I done sumthing wrong?

James Ohyeah. I dun really hate him `cause he is gay. Dude, I don't. I am sorry but I dun hate him for that. I hate him because he neglected my opinions in all those group activities in English. I am so very angry about that. Actually, that is what made me hate even the littlest things he does. One little thing was when he just repeated Kyla's words: "Hypertext Mark-up Language". Nagmamarunong kasi sa Computer, parang Arthur lang ah. The other one was when he heard Kyla`s answer and took it as his. What a loser.
Anddd, this. He has Twitter. n00bs shall not have Twitter. None of my classmates (of course, except for Kyla, Rofyy & Bet) shall have Twitter. Never. Ever. Ever...

James' friends who are Matt`s friends as well now ...until one of this people came to be spreading Twitter all over the class. And everyone`s going to make their wretched Twitters just 'cause of the celebrities in Twitter. I bet they'll be tweeting like James :)). That's actually why I`m deleting them in my Friends list in FS & making my account private. And another reason why I hate them, they are not my 'kind'.

So hate me now.

Ka-swoon-swoon talaga si James. I am so falling for him - ohyeah, him - right now - yes, just right now.

And before I go on any further, I would want to state that I have no wish to pass this stage - adolescence. But, I have to grow up. Also that James is gay. What a pity T________T.

So yes, I am falling for him at this moment only. I swoon even more when I remember those, uh, times.

One was when he was obliviously holding - HOLDING - MYEFFINGHAND. When he was holding my freaking hand. 'cause he was telling us what in the world we should do during that presentation. He actually grabbed one of our group mates and me and it's normal for a gay to continue hold on one`s hand once he`s gotten a hold on it. I shook off teh hand, dude T____T.

The other was when he assisted - ohyeah - me in going to the classroom. We walked together to the room - we were alone, dude -and he was actually talking to me. ZOMG, I know.

But he's gay. And his diary cover`s prettier than mine T____________T.

I got all this dude-ing from Kyla.

It's good you're here, Yael. It's good you're here to counteract your siblings' being self-centered. To show them that they can't have it all. A piece of someone's mature mind. That there are something else more important and that their wishes are not. No, they are not.

How I wanted to say in her face

Ang kapal ng mukha mo, ano?

Did not she see how broken Mother was? How stupid she is to ask for a new phone just after our grandfather's cremation. Her mother's father's death.

Maybe she's more apathetic than me. More stupid than how I could ever be. I can't believe she's my sister.

My head was throbbing. Our TLE skit just messed up (I was serious making the script!!!!!!!!!) - when I saw Liyar put that Manila paper on the board with Scotch tape as Lyka, James and the others write stuff on the board.

I realized that it was the Literature report thingy. Everyone was there except for me - because she, James, so effing took care of every little thing for she was our very, open and noble leader. Open and noble freaking leader. Damn her.

Sinolo kasi 'yung presentation, ang dumb tuloy namin doon sa harap ng buong klase. Hindi man lang humingi ng suggestions at opinions namin. Eh 'yung mga ka-grupo ko, walang namang pakieleam kahit solohin - kahit kainin n'ya 'yung Manila paper n'ya - n'ya lahat, lahat, LAHAT. Ako lang naman mag-isa ang may pakielam - at may masasabi at maiisip pang mas maganda - sa gagawin sa presentation na 'yun. Ako lang naman, ang may pakielam kung bababa o tataas ang grade ko sa presentation na 'yun.

Well, I suppose he always assumes that he will always be the leader. The freaking leader. But he is not the least bit at the foot of Nao and Rofly.

As for Liyar, I hate him for the possibility of saying "Aba, malay ko sa'yo!" when I demand why did I not know about all that.

Ang yabang. Tinanggal ko naman sa pwesto n'ya last school year at ngayong year na 'to.

I`ve been blogging at LJ, friends.

It's sucky and I registered at Tumblr. It is http://heyyouyael.tumblr.com My Tumblr is still under construction.

Have you guys seen the Twitter TV ad? I haven't seen it yet, but, we shall find a new community to join in because it will be soon invaded my n00bs. James has Twitter, remember.

Oh, and I`m thirteen (ack.) today.